Please, kindly wait while you get shafted

13 July 2013

How hard can it be ?

The lads from Top Gear usually say that when they’re going to botch something up, in my case, I guess it applies as well.

So on May 20th 2013, I was back in Perth while Troopy was still in Bangkok, having a bath. The mob in Thailand had the daunting task to clean the car entirely, through and through, as the Australian Quarantine Inspection Service (AQIS) is pretty much the stricter border inspection there is. No seeds, foods, bacteria or any foreign living matter must enter Australia and risk endangering the fragile flora and fauna. Fair enough too, the environment here is pretty unique and possible the closest there is to Jurassic Park in some ways. We wouldn’t want a Thai mushroom eradicating the Koalas would we ?

Two days after, Thai customs made it difficult for me, it turned out I was missing some pretty important paper which should have been given to me when I entered the country from Laos six month earlier. I guess since I entered Thailand from the smallest border town possible, the custom officer had no clue he was to give the “falang” a Simplified Customs Declaration Form… (note for next time, and for any overlander reading this : make sure you get this !)
But Tim (the Pommy who was in charge with the shipping in Bangkok for me) had connections, and on Sunday 26th, Troopy sailed out on the “MANUELA”, on her way to Singapore then Fremantle.

Great news, according to the manifest, the ETA was Singapore the next day, so roughly a week later in Freo, which gave me plenty of time to clear out the AQIS and send the carnet back to the Australian Automobile Association in time, before it expired on the 13th of June.

That was the plan anyways.

Internet is a magic thing. With the container number and the vessel ID (each vessel, be it a supertanker or a small sailing yacht has to have an ID and a name, a bit like a registration number plate. That’s compulsory, in every country. Or at least every country that has sea shore, I doubt the rule applies to Mongolia…). So with that tracking number, you can easily follow the process of any ship, anywhere in the world, provided of course his beacon is active. Kinda like my GPS beacon you guys gave monitored while I was on the road.
So every morning, I’d log in to various websites and confirmed I was indeed getting closer and closer to Troopy.

And then, something very odd showed up one morning, it read the next destination of the MANUELA was somewhere in Egypt, or the Middle East, it wasn’t very clear. And the last recorded position of the ship hadn’t changed for three days.

WTF ? Why is my car going to the wrong corner of the Indian Ocean ? What’s going on here ?
So I called Tim, who was as puzzled as me, and two days later, we learnt that while MANUELA was indeed heading to Africa, “my” container was on another ship, called the PRAGUE this time. So what happened was, the shipping company changed the route, or had not told us, or whatever but someone somewhere screwed up, and the bottom line was, new vessel, same route, but new ETA.

June 13th !! Panick ! That’s when the bloody carnet expires ! Failing to produce the carnet in time automatically renews it for a year, costing roughly two grand, plus a fine. So I called the AAA and explained the situation, they kindly agreed that if I can prove every effort has been made to get the carnet in time but unforeseen conditions delayed that process, they’d be understanding and I should be okay.

Still, that’s just fucking not on ! I was assured I’d get the car within ten days, it will be well over two weeks by then. What a fucking mess.

More news then, the company that was in charge with unloading (taking the container off the ship on to the docks) , unpacking (getting the car out of the container and on to the depot for the AQIS) and sorting out all the paperwork, had to have the original BoL (bill of lading, the proof I own the car and I did indeed ship a car and not a ton of explosives) AND the carnet for them to process it.
Little did I know, but when I asked around for quotes in Fremantle, this company who replied “yep we can handle your shipment at a very good price” was not in Fremantle, but in bloody Brisbane ! Queensland, wrong fucking side of the country ! And so, express mail, second time, with the original paperwork, since the first copy I sent was no good, another two days lost.

Fuck me ! How hard can it be !

So, there we were, Monday 17th of June, two weeks late already, I got confirmation the ship had docked, the container had been unloaded and was being X-Rayed for illegal passengers, drugs, bombs, or god know what else. It should then been inspected the next day and cleared by the end of the week, ready for pick-up on the Friday.

That was the plan anyways. The AAA was okay for a few days late, all bills were paid, no more delays, next WE we can finally go camping.

Thursday 20th: Email from QLD: Hi Brice

Unpacking of the container is hopefully happening tomorrow, I will keep at them for updates and advise when your vehicle has been cleared and ready to collect.”

Still, could be worse… 🙁

Friday 21st : Hi Brice

Your container has been unpacked however Quarantine have not inspected yet, at the moment availability is looking more like Tuesday / Wednesday next week.

Could be worse I guess…
Then, no news for six days, radio silent.

Thursday 27th: Hi Brice

Customs went to inspect the container / car on Tuesday morning and we weren’t expecting there to be personal effects to be in the rear of the vehicle, so they closed the container and returned Tuesday afternoon.
When they returned to inspect the car and personal effects, some foodstuffs were disposed of and the personal effects have been cleared. AQIS have instructed that the vehicle needs to be cleaned and we are currently looking for a facility that will handle this.

I am currently waiting for the updated costs for this and will advise asap.

Ahem, I’m sorry, what ?

You mean to tell me it took you TEN freaking days to get the AQIS to inspect, and now they say my car is NOT clean ? WTF ??? The car was cleaned in Bangkok before it left Thailand ? How can this be ? Is this an easy way to make money ? Just deny entry and ask for a re-wash at high price ?

Monday 1st of July (remember we’re already four weeks behind shedule): Hi Brice

Can you please call Justin (contact details are below) to discuss cleaning options, possibly easier if you talk with him direct.

Yep no worries, so I paid you to take care of this, now I gotta do YOUR fucking job as well.
And so this went on for days, until Claire agreed to go to Fremantle, empty Troopy completely, get all our stuff on pallets in a storage room, while “Justin” could get a truck to pick up Troopy, send it to the carwash, get it cleaned, and come back some days later, for us to pick up our stuff, put it back in the car, and drive home.
That was Thursday 4th of July.

All we need now, is the final bill.

Monday 8th: Hi Brice

They have confirmed it is currently being cleaned as will let me know once it is finished, will be in touch as soon as they confirm.

and later that day

Hi Brice

Justin has just let me know that charges should be available tomorrow morning by the time he gets in, I will chase up 1st thing in the morning and advise.

Wednesday 10th: Hi Brice

I chased Justin yesterday and again this morning for an approx availability for your vehicle, he is waiting for an update from the cleaners, I will advise as soon as I hear.

Fuck me ! You gotta be joking ! Ten fucking days to clean a car, and get the costs in an email and send it ?
So I sent an email yesterday, as I had not heard from Kimberley (the girl who sends me these email, but only when I scream), an email to her boss, saying I was extremely dissatisfied with the service, yadiyadiya… and I got a response pretty quickly saying that she had asked for final costings so that we can finalise with you and get a release for the vehicle.

So, maybe, on Monday, or Tuesday, or when pigs fucking fly, I will get the final bill (remember I already paid $3300 for handling in Australia, and TBH95.000 for shipping in Thailand, so roughly $6500, for what appears to be, fuck all so far. Cleaning was botched in Bangkok, shipping was a mess in Singapore, now handling is a joke) and maybe one day, I can finally get MY FUCKING CAR !!!!!

How hard can it be, indeed.

PS : no, leaving the car in Thailand was not an option, not officially anyways. Maybe with a little bribery we would have been able to get out of Thailand into Laos or Cambodia, or even Myanmar, but how much is a little bribery ? Besides, leaving Troopy up there meant three years of blocking the lovely family’s driveway in Nong Hin, and no possible way to work and rebuild it so we can both travel comfortably. Not to mention rust, and an engine that doesn’t run for three years.
So yeah, most likely, this could have gone a lot smoother. In the meantime, Tim reimbursed me when he saw the pictures of the car Claire took last week. Indeed the cleaning was far from good, plus whoever drove it to the shipping yard in Bangkok drove through puddles, so it was all for nothing.

Today, July 13th, one full month after expiry date of the carnet, two months after I flew to Thailand, I still have not seen my car, and I paid way too much for shit service. I expected this to be a nightmare in Asia but not here, turns out it’s the other way. Tim’s been great, fair, fast and effective, while this mob in Queensland I won’t name right now is bloody hopeless.