Bitter Ale

10 September 2013

When we first drank the homebrew, back in July, it was, let’s be honest, bloody awful. The colour was good, a light amber ale, slightly cloudy, nothing wrong there. But that’s just it, it lacked everything else. No body, no head, no nothing, and if you drank the whole 23 bottles you’d still be legally allowed to drive. Even in Iran.

I was indeed very disappointed. I thought I could make beer, well I sucked at it. My homebrew was a disaster. First, there was the smell. It smelled like sour apple cider. I thought I had made a girly beer, like those sissy drinks you order when you “can’t stand the bitterness” but still want to look cool. Then there was the body, or lack of to be precise. Flat. That’s the best adjective I have. It was flat. No bubbles. no froth, no “pssshhht” when you open the bottle.

Just a flat, sour, crappy apple juice.

Damn, my days as a brew master were over.

But so I forgot about it for a month or two. Well it’s been almost eight weeks since we had that first sip, and last night I decided to give it another shot.

I’d put one bottle, just one, let’s not overdo it, in the fridge on Sunday. I’ve just had a pretty tough WE, working almost around the clock for this new customer. Setup a new server and a new infrastructure, migrate the old thing over, yadyadyadya. I slept less than ten hours between Friday morning and Monday morning. I knew Monday would be tough.
So, this beer was waiting for me. Waiting for me to give it another chance. And man, was I looking for a nice beer after this shit WE.

I took it out of the fridge, let it warm up a little, our fridge runs at 4 degrees, that’s a little cold for a beer. Maybe not for Australians, but damn it I’m still Belgian at heart.
I have one beer glass. It’s not even a good glass it’s a Carlsberg glass. But it’s better than nothing. So, glass under the tap, cold water of course. This is to clean it basically, and degrease it. If you pour a beer in a dry glass, it won’t make large bubbles, therefore no froth. It will just sit there. Now, while English, Australians, Americans and basically anyone from a barbaric country that knows nothing about beer, like their beer flat, ice cold, and the glass filled with as much beer as it can hold ; we Belgians and Germans know that a good beer needs a good head.

So. My glass was wet, my bottle was at the right temperature, my phone was off and my feet were up. it was time to open this bottle, and see if eight weeks in the dark had improved my special brew.

It began with a promising pssshhht, then the gargle gargle gargle into the glass proved to be accurate ! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a head ! And a thick one too ! Alleluia, habemus cervisiam ! At least it looks like one.
Let’s try then shall we. One sip, two sips, three sips, aaand there goes the whole glass. Well it’s pretty damn good actually.

Bitter, not too much, with a nice lingering taste, it sits well in the mouth, is not aggressive on the palate, and strong enough in alcohol, it’s well it’s .. it’s.. it’s a beer ! I made beer !

I AM DA BREW MASTA ! I AM A TRUE BELGIAN !

I believe I’m even tipsy, after one pint. Or maybe I’m just tired…