I lost my wife
It started with Claire being really tired, so I loaded up Troopy with all the camping gear, a full fridge, and instructions for her to leave on Thursday morning, direction: out of the city. Basically, go to Nanga Mill, in the Lane Poole Reserve, where we always go. Spend a few days in the woods, sleep as much as you can, there will be no cell phone, no TV, no Internet, no noise.
And so she went. She only had one instruction: activate the Spot Messenger so I know her GPS position and I can meet her on Friday night after work. She also had to turn on the UHF radio on channel 28 every 15 minutes so we could communicate once I got in range.
Thursday night, I checked on the website, no position recorded. Odd, well maybe she didn’t leave it on long enough. It happens. She’s safe.
Friday 4PM, I manage to sneak out of work early to beat the traffic and I head out. There’s a 2h drive, I can make it for sunset. Perfect. In the HiLux, I have my backpack with my laptop, and I am wearing my work clothes. That’s it. I know there’s a set of clothes for me in Troopy, no worries. I checked the website once again, still no GPS coordinates. Mmmh. Oh well. She’s safe.
Friday 6PM, I arrive at the entrance of the Reserve, it’s getting dark already. I do not see the sign telling me the main track is closed due to the floods. First mistake.
Obviously, if I can’t reach Nanga campsite, neither could Claire, so if half the park is closed, she must be in one of the other campsites, there are only twelve in the park, six of them are out of reach, I’ll find her in no time.
Okay, so she’s not in any campsite. Where the hell is she then ? Maybe she took another track and bushcamped. There’s a track there, I can see headlights, that must be her.
Second mistake.
No that wasn’t her, maybe she’s further down the track. It’s already 7PM, I’m starving.
And then I went into the woods. And then I got lost. There was no way I could turn around, I had no idea where I had turned left or right. The only way was to keep going. Remember I had no water, no food, I was wearing my work clothes (business shoes, business pants, and a polo shirt), I didn’t even have a damn shovel!
All I had was my phone, with no coverage, but the GPS chip indicated I was in the middle of the forest, and according to Google Map, this forest was the size of bloody Holland !
After five hours of driving around in the woods (good thing the HiLux is as tough as Troopy and has a dual fuel tank), after crossing the river a dozen times, finally the road widened and an hour later, blessed tarmac !
I emerged out of the forest roughly 100km south of where I should have been, and at 2AM, there was no way I would find Claire anywhere. I was thirsty, hungry, exhausted, and frankly pretty worried. Maybe she had an accident, maybe she went 4wding and fell into a ditch, maybe she’s hurt, maybe I should shut up and go home.
At 4AM I crashed into bed, and woke up the next morning wondering if it all had been a bad dream.
8AM, time to call the park rangers. Uh hi, my name is Brice, my wife should have been in Nanga mill three days ago but I have not heard from her, can you help me please, I have lost my wife ?
By the time I had a quick shower, a coffee and a rapid breakfast, it was already 9AM, I called Laurent, a good friend, filled up the HiLux with recovery gear, fuel, water, food, blanket and all the maps I could find.
As I was ready to pick up Laurent and drive off, the phone rang “where are you ?” she said.
Where am I ? You mean where the fuck are you ? I was worried sick !
As it turns out, Nanga Mill was indeed accessible, but using another road, had I stopped at the Park entrance instead of driving through the gates, I would have seen the damn sign that said so. And had I taken the time to explain how the GPS worked, maybe she would have sent me her position.
Poor Claire had been waiting all night for her knight in shiny armor, she’d cooked dinner, lit the fire, poured the wine and was exactly where we had agreed. Then the hours passed and she ate her dinner, then she went to bed, then she got worried sick.
I hadn’t lost my wife, her husband was the one who got lost.